The New York Womans

Marital neglect is a problem that may lead to divorce. 12 solutions to confront it.

If your husband acts coldly and pushes you away with his eerie silence, it most likely means he's ignoring you. This usually happens after a fight to show resentment or simply to get attention. However, if your husband ignores you frequently or for days at a time for no apparent reason, it can cause depression and hurt your pride.

Being ignored is one of the worst feelings in the world, says Kiran Athar, a writer for Hackspirit . Often, you don't know what you did wrong, and the more you try to talk to your husband, the more he distances himself. It's frustrating, but with a little understanding and some helpful strategies for dealing with this behavior, you can create a relationship with better communication, respect, and love.

Reasons why a husband ignores his wife

There are some common reasons why husbands ignore their wives, as Angelina Gupta, author and MBA at Bonobology , lists:

Your husband may be ignoring you because you constantly hound him to do the things you ask him to do, such as housework, taking the kids out, and bringing them groceries. He's also harshly critical of you if the results aren't what you want. Ignoring you in this case is a coping mechanism.

A workaholic, your husband's life probably revolves around work. Even when he's home, he's finishing reports and talking to his boss. You may notice that he doesn't have time for you.

You're not on the same page intellectually, maybe he finds it difficult to talk to you because you're not interested in the things that excite him.

Feeling bored. Boredom creeps into any long-term relationship. If both of you don't work to keep the spark of love and connection alive, your husband may take the easy way out and ignore you.

You are busy with him. Perhaps you are very attached to your family, relatives, and friends, and your husband does not like that, so he ignores you and neglects you emotionally.

Spending: If you are a constant spender and love to shop and spend your husband's hard-earned money, he may ignore you to make sure you don't ask for more money.

Procrastinating personality: Some people react in a strange and silent way to some behavior they do not like. Perhaps this is part of your husband’s nature, and ignoring you is his natural reaction to a situation you have caused.

What should you do when your husband ignores you? Of course, don't escalate the situation by starting a fight, but do take the following steps:

No to the silence in return

Often, when a husband begins to ignore his wife, she begins to respond with silence and rarely speaks. But this isn't a solution. You need to be the one to take the first step by communicating, confronting the problem, and coming up with a solution together.

Don't think about revenge

Betterhelp writer Stephanie Kirby says , "Try a little kindness, even if you don't feel like it. Good intentions breed good intentions." Even if your husband is ignoring you, that doesn't mean you should start thinking about a revenge plan. Instead, be kind to him and show him that you care about his little things. He may be hesitant at first, but he'll slowly begin to give in and end the silence.

give it some time

Kirby says, "Sometimes husbands tend to ignore their wives because of work or other personal matters they don't feel comfortable discussing at that moment. You may feel like a stranger to him at the moment, but you need to be patient. Your husband will eventually come around and share his feelings with you when he's recovered and ready."

Don't fight with him

Often, when your husband goes silent and starts ignoring you, you feel angry and frustrated, and a fight begins. However, the problem with marital conflict is that once it starts, many old, unresolved issues will resurface, making matters worse. So, instead of fighting, talk things out.

Situation analysis

If your husband has only been ignoring you recently, then something recent must have upset him. You should think about the various events that happened before that and try to identify the incident that made him ignore you in this way.

Identifying the situation will help you better handle it. The sooner you identify the reason for his behavior, the faster you can resolve the issues between you and your spouse.

marital communication

If you can't pinpoint the situation that's causing your husband to remain silent, try getting him to talk to you. Sometimes, simple actions like holding his hand and telling him how much you love him can work wonders.

Be positive

It can be a bit stressful during a period when your husband is ignoring you. You may start to think that he might be having an affair or maybe wants to break up with you. In such situations, you need to remain positive and optimistic, as you don't know the real reason for his behavior. If your husband is going through something bad, you need to be strong enough to help him through this stage.

Take care of surprises

Couples sometimes tend to fall silent after a few years of marriage, and communication between them decreases. Your husband may have gotten used to this silence after this stage. Try new ways to make him feel comfortable, surprise him with things he loves, and notice the difference.

Pay attention to his behavior

Pay closer attention to your husband's behavior. Does he ignore you all the time or only when you bring up certain topics? Men tend to ignore certain topics if they feel they aren't worth talking about. Also, notice if he seems happy when talking to others or prefers to remain silent with them as well. If it's only with you, then it means it's you.

Don't tell others

In the early stages, don't talk about your husband's behavior and his ignoring you in front of your friends. Asking other people's opinions can destroy a marriage, and men hate gossip, especially when it comes to sensitive matters. So be wise and consider the situation.

stay busy

If your husband doesn't care about you, you should try to do the same with him. Often, husbands take their wives for granted because they believe they are always available and under their care.

Keeping yourself busy and spending time apart from him will make him realize how important you are and he'll stop ignoring you. However, don't overdo it, as he might get used to your absence, creating a permanent wall between you.

Seek advice

If your husband still ignores you despite all your efforts, it's time to seek counseling. Most couples regret not seeking counseling in a timely manner, which ultimately leads to divorce.