You may have noticed that the new generations demand a lot and give little. They know what they want and how to get it, even if it's at the expense of others. They're used to taking and don't know much about giving. This isn't a stigma or a judgment on an entire generation, but rather a warning to parents about the need to teach their children, young and old, the principle of altruism—that is, to put the interests of others above their own at certain times.
Studies indicate that it is possible to raise responsible children who selflessly give others their due by giving them meaningful family responsibilities. Daily acts of help, specific household chores, and assistance outside the home can foster an altruistic personality.
On the other hand, if a child gets used to receiving everything from his parents, he will grow up selfish, not appreciating the value of blessings, and not offering a helping hand to others, simply because he does not feel their needs.
Household chores that promote altruism
In their 1975 book, Children of Six Cultures, anthropologists Beatrice and John Whiting investigated the origins of altruism and found a clear pattern: the more responsibilities children had that contributed to maintaining the family, the more likely they were to behave altruistically in a variety of ways, not only with family members but also with people outside the family.
Household chores that foster altruism in children include caring for young children, caring for animals, helping to grow and harvest food, and helping to prepare meals.
A study in the Journal of Developmental Psychology also found that children who had chores in the form of stable jobs that they were expected to perform as contributing members of the family developed a greater concern for other people in general.
Pampering vs. Altruism
According to the Very Well Mind website, having demanding, spoiled children who believe they're entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it, is frustrating for parents. To address this, all you have to do is make sure your child does some chores around the house.
Assigning children age-appropriate chores not only helps lighten the load at home, but it can help your child develop a sense of responsibility and self-esteem that will serve them well for the rest of their life.
Ways to cultivate altruism
Early responsibility training
Once your child starts walking, teach them to put away their toys. At three years old, assign them chores like doing the laundry and bringing you groceries. You'll find them feeling content with the idea of helping out as part of the family.
Do a consistent routine for a year
Perform one routine task for each year of your child's age, such as pressing the dishwasher's start button or putting away the pillows when you tidy the house. However, you should be careful and monitor your child; if they become bored with the fixed task, you can move them to a new one.
Housework is free
Psychology Today stresses the need to reject the idea of paying children for help around the house, as this could deprive them of the satisfaction of being responsible and contributing members of their families, as well as being helpful and kind to others.
Participating in family businesses is not an option.
Be clear with your children about doing their share of the family business and explain that it's not an option. Just as everyone benefits from being a family member, each member has family responsibilities.
Age-appropriate homework includes:
Preschool: Children between the ages of 3 and 5 can begin to learn responsibility by putting away their toys after use, putting away their dirty clothes, and helping to pour food and water for pets.
Kindergarten: Children aged 5-6 can help with cooking, setting and cleaning the table, watering flowers if there are any in the house, and loading and unloading the dishwasher.
Elementary School Age: Children between the ages of 6 and 11 can do everything preschoolers can do, but with little or no supervision. Additionally, they can take out the trash, take on greater responsibility in the kitchen and keep their rooms clean, and learn how to wash, dry, and fold their own clothes.
Middle and High School Age: From middle school onward, children are ready to do most things adults do. With little guidance, they are ready to do household chores like cooking, doing laundry, vacuuming, and washing dishes.
How to turn helping others into a habit for your child?
A true sense of responsibility develops gradually over time. Children are more likely to fulfill expectations and responsibilities when they are praised for a job well done. When adults provide respectful and caring reminders, children respond well.
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