The New York Womans

How do you explain to your child the meaning of war and the right of the homeland?

If your family doesn't live in conflict or crisis zones, your children are likely far from violence, but that doesn't mean parents shouldn't talk to children about conflict.

There are generations of children who learn about war in their early years through the media, and the pain may become more immediate than what they see in the media. They may live in the heart of events and become part of the victims of war.

Behind the lives of millions of families in war zones and crises, there are children deprived of the most beautiful years of their lives after living under bombardment and experiencing the horrors of terrorist acts and war crimes. How can we introduce this world to them and conduct serious discussions that respect their questions and honor their innocence?

Although these conversations can be difficult to have, it is important to provide children with age-appropriate information about the war.

Wars are undeniably frightening, even for adults, and for a child who may not understand the facts or understand where the war is actually happening, it's terrifying. Even if you try to prevent your child from seeing images of war, whether they're shown on television or elsewhere, you should keep the lines of communication open. Even if you don't live in a country experiencing war, that doesn't mean you shouldn't bring up the topic.

Start a conversation with your child

Talking about why some people intentionally harm others, and how this can lead to war, is a complex topic. For many children, it can be frightening and upsetting.

Starting at around 4 or 5 years old, it's important to be open to discussing the facts surrounding the war if your child brings them up. However, this should be presented in an age-appropriate manner.

As a parent, your job is to reassure your children that they are safe, as it's essential for them to feel safe. Starting a simple conversation can also be an opportunity to correct any misunderstandings.

But if your little one isn't interested in talking about the war, there's no need to force him to realize it.

Find out what he hears

If your child starts talking about the war, try to find out where their information comes from. Ask questions like, "Do any of your teachers talk about this at school? Do any of your friends talk about these things?"

According to Amy Morin , a psychologist and editor-in-chief of Very Well Mind magazine, your child may have heard bits of information and may be having difficulty understanding things. Or they may have seen media coverage that overlooked the fact that it could be viewed by children.

Learning what your child already knows can give you a good starting point for your conversations. Be a good listener and show that you're invested in hearing what they're thinking.

Explain the purpose of war.

Your child will likely want to know why the war is fought. Keep your explanation simple by saying something like, "The purpose of the war is to prevent more bad things from happening in the future."

You might also talk about how war is meant to protect people. Explain that violence is not a good way to resolve conflict, but sometimes countries decide they need to start a war to keep people safe in the future.

Adjust viewing

Typically, parents should be honest with their children. However, this doesn't mean you need to overwhelm your child with unnecessary information.

In an article on VeryWellFamily , parenting writer Katherine Lee advises making your discussions age-appropriate and tread carefully. The last thing you want is for your child to emerge from the conversation feeling even more frightened about the war. Don't downplay the seriousness of war, but keep in mind that they don't need to know all the gory details of what's happening.

Stick to the facts without dwelling on the scope of the impact. Don't predict what might happen next or dwell on how terrible things will continue to happen in the future. Keep your focus on forgiveness rather than revenge.

However, once your child reaches the teenage years or earlier, he or she may begin to share their own views about the war, and you never know if they will agree with yours.

Try to respect your children's opinions, even if you strongly disagree with them, and refrain from arguing about them or expressing your opinions in an angry manner.

Watch media coverage with your teens, but it's important to limit media coverage for younger children because disturbing scenes shown on the news can be extremely distressing for preschool or elementary school children.

On the other hand, you know better how mature your child is and how much information they can handle. Based on this, you can determine what can be said and what should be stopped. However, do not continue talking if you feel that your child cannot bear any more. In any conversation, they should feel safe.

Learn the value of empathy

Children often feel more secure and confident when they know there is something they can do to help. They can be taught that despite war, we can help others, such as supporting friends, donating blood, medicine, or food, along with various forms of volunteer work.

Finally, it's normal for your child to feel anxious, confused, and upset by scenes of war. Monitor their psychological state. If you experience mood swings for several days at a time, or if you experience symptoms such as anxiety attacks, sleep problems, bedwetting, stuttering, or screaming and crying for no apparent reason, you should consult a doctor.