How does childhood emotional neglect lead to future mistakes?
Amman - When parents emotionally neglect their children, they grow up believing that their feelings don't matter. This is because they lacked their parents' attention to their feelings at the very moments when they needed their warmth and compassion. This can directly impact their personality and behavior in the future.
What is child emotional neglect?
Psychologist Dr. Jana Zaabalawi defines child emotional neglect as a parent's failure to meet their child's emotional needs during the early years. She says that emotional neglect "involves limited emotional interactions between parents and children. It is a form of psychological abuse and is considered one of the most common types of child abuse."
She explains, "This also happens when the parent or primary caregiver exposes the child to severe domestic violence, refuses to seek treatment for the child's emotional problems, or does not provide the child with an appropriate environment for healthy growth and development."
Several studies have shown that emotional neglect can have a greater negative impact on mental health than all other types of childhood maltreatment, and is associated with adverse physical, psychological, and educational outcomes, according to Zaabalawi, noting that it leads to increased internal and external behavioral disturbances in children, as well as delayed cognitive and emotional development.
“When a child perceives that they are being emotionally neglected, they are twice as likely to develop mental health disorders by the age of 15, including developing depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder,” she adds.
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Symptoms of emotional neglect
Unlike physical neglect or abuse, neglectful parenting does not result in outward signs, such as bruises or injuries. Zaabalawi explains that the symptoms of emotional neglect in children are subtle, despite individual differences, as neglected individuals tend to exhibit certain behavioral patterns.
The signs of emotional neglect of a child appear as follows:
- Insecure avoidant attachment style, disorganized attachment, and in extreme cases, attachment disorder.
- Demonstrating patterns of negative, withdrawn, and aggressive behavior with parents.
- Delayed child growth and development.
- Negativity during parent-child interactions, and anger toward the parent.
- Significantly less positive social interaction.
- Delayed language development.
- Avoid interacting with other children.
- Difficulty making friends.
- Behavioral problems, including symptoms of conduct disorder.
What are the consequences of child emotional neglect?
Accordingly, Zaabalawi believes that the consequences of emotional neglect in children are dire when they grow up. She says, "Everyone has a different experience and life, so we cannot define those affected by emotional neglect as adults now as a single group."
Therefore, it is preferable to consult a psychiatrist for a full evaluation and assistance after diagnosis. Based on the diagnosis, a treatment plan is developed, usually consisting of medication and psychological (psychological sessions) to help overcome the effects of childhood emotional neglect, thus helping the patient improve their quality of life and relationships, as well as their psychological and health status, according to Zaabalawi.
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focused emotional flow
Family and educational consultant Dr. Munir Aql says that emotional neglect of a child at home, school, or the environment in which they grew up will make them dependent on anyone who provides them with affection and tenderness. This is where the danger lies, as the child may acquire their lifestyle—and perhaps their beliefs, concepts, tastes, speech, and language—from people or entities other than their parents, according to Aql.
The strategy for treating the negative effects of emotional neglect lies in the focused emotional outpouring and tenderness directed at the child from the parents, especially the mother, who, when she holds the child, kisses him, smiles at him, and cares for him, his features will revive and his heart will be reassured. “Therefore, we find that children and boys whose mothers care for them, raise them carefully, and give them the largest share of their time, are the ones who have a sufficient degree of balance, reassurance, and harmony with their surroundings,” according to Aql.
He explains that "a child should be hugged at least 7 times a day, especially when a father hugs a girl and a mother hugs a boy, because it is scientifically proven that hugging and cuddling contribute to increasing the secretion of the love hormone (oxytocin). Our bodies usually produce it when we feel feelings of love. That's why it is called the "love hormone" or the "hug hormone," as it helps us bond with our children and loved ones, and enhances feelings of contentment, security, and trust towards those we truly care about."
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Integrating the child into social experiences
Counselor Aql adds, "One of the behavioral interventions that parents should implement is to integrate their children into normal social experiences, enabling them to form friendships. Isolating them will harm their cognitive, emotional, and social development. Keeping children busy with physical activities also gives them the sense that they are useful and dependable."
The counselor is advised to adopt calm and constructive dialogue and discussion among family members, as this generates positive feelings in children and adolescents and provides them with greater reassurance. Furthermore, seeking their opinions, consulting them, and listening to them will increase their self-confidence and refine their personalities. He emphasizes that such treatments will lead to the reproduction of a balanced and internally stable personality, which helps the child and adolescent interact with others in a proper manner, improve their opinion of society, and avoid wrong lifestyles.
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Child Emotional Neglect and Life Mistakes
Psychology Today published a report listing the mistakes that an individual may make in the future if he or she suffered from emotional neglect in childhood, including:
- You may feel that the people around you have certain qualities that you lack, and you may be puzzled when you see others looking overly enthusiastic, cheerful, or confident. Therefore, the mistake you often make is that you tend to keep others at a distance so they don't see your own flaws.
- You feel responsible for others: Because you cling to and hold on to feelings, and because you don't listen to your own feelings, you become particularly attuned to the feelings of others, and don't pay attention to what you feel, want, and need.
- You force yourself to ignore your needs: You firmly believe that you can—and should—do everything on your own, feel weak when asking for help, and rarely express your wants and needs when it is in your best interest to do so.
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