The New York Womans

Are you a nagging wife? This is what men, women, and psychology say.

"Nagging" in women is a condition that many men complain about due to its significant impact on any relationship between two people. Women, however, prefer not to acknowledge it, placing the blame on their partner who can't stand a word from them. They consider this accusation to be greatly exaggerated.

Grumpiness means constantly disturbing the other person's mood. It is like psychological warfare, and the language of dialogue disappears. The reason for it can be traced back to many things, including idleness or superficiality of thinking on the part of the person initiating it, or to a wrong upbringing they have been subjected to since childhood, or an attempt to attract the other person's attention as revenge for ignoring their life partner, for example.

To shed light on this topic, we must hear the opinions of some men and women, as well as the opinion of social psychology on this phenomenon.

Grumpiness is a nature and lack of confidence

"Nagging is a natural disposition, not a circumstance." With this phrase, Ahmed Tafeeli sums up the situation of women in general. He goes on to confess that the reason for his divorce was the daily "nagging" he suffered with his wife. In his view, men are distinguished from women by their love of independence, meaning they do not want their wives to question them: Where have you been? Who were you with? Where are you going? Why didn't you answer the phone?

If a woman starts to go to this door, she will find it closed, doubt will start to creep in, the atmosphere will become tense, and the husband may oppose her, so she will begin the journey of climbing to the abyss and raising the slogan “Enough!”

Tafeeli asserts that he tried to avoid these daily quarrels and to be patient for his daughter's sake, but the problems worsened and it was difficult to reach an understanding on any issue. Jealousy was an additional factor in this situation, and the annoyance increased to an unbearable degree, he told The New York Womans .

Not grumpy by nature

Engineer Marwan Darwish believes that women are not naturally "grumpy," and that when they do this, it's because their partner has perhaps neglected them or hasn't given them enough attention. He points out that men make such accusations to justify their actions, saying, "Many justify their betrayal of their wives by saying that she's a grump, and this is not true."

He continues that his relationship with his life partner is one of mutual understanding, respect, and trust. He believes there is a type of woman who suffers from excessive jealousy and fear of losing her partner, so men must change the way they treat and behave with such women so that the relationship becomes solid and built on honesty, affection, and a lack of dominance.

Most women are grumpy

Dorina Zeineddine admits that most women are grumpy, and believes that "these accusations are made by men because they can't stand a word." She says that "men believe that in a relationship they own the woman and that she must do what he wants without her having a dissenting opinion."

She asserts that women are always looking for the best in a relationship, and that women demand a lot from men because they want the relationship to be perfect. However, she believes that in return, men accuse her of being "nagging" because they are impatient, or unenthusiastic about something and do not want to fulfill all of her requests. She refuses to call this situation "nagging," asserting that it is "a pursuit of a better life." She believes that economic conditions may be a primary reason for the worsening of matters.

Dorina points out that sometimes a husband's domineering, possessive nature, and imposing his personality on his wife results in a lack of dialogue and frequent daily quarrels, which may push the wife to prefer divorce over continuing such a relationship.

This is what makes women miserable

The main reason women become nagging is that men won't do anything unless she asks them repeatedly, Rita Mazraani told Al Jazeera Net. "Sometimes a wife has to ask more than once, and he doesn't respond," she said, adding that such behavior by a man is unacceptable.

Rita also explains that men do things they believe don't bother women, while women prefer not to discuss their problems openly. She believes that men should figure it out on their own, and that it's their duty to break this habit and clearly express their problems. Men also need to be more intelligent in the relationship.

Social psychology opinion

From the perspective of social psychologist Mona Darwish, "grumpiness" is a complex issue related to the nature of the romantic relationship between men and women. It is a type of behavior that occurs within a comprehensive context and results from unconscious actions related to the struggle for roles.

Mona explained to Al Jazeera Net that women store in their memories a sense of subordination to men, and resort to this feeling in order to fulfill their needs or to control them. In some cases, women use emotion to achieve this goal, and they may also resort to creating an atmosphere of tension in the relationship.

symbolic retaliatory behavior

Mona goes on to explain the social psychology perspective that "grumpiness" is a symbolic, vengeful behavior that occurs within a strained relationship. The causes are attributed to feelings of inferiority, distorted upbringing, or the struggle for self-realization, in addition to distorted upbringing in Eastern societies, which raise women to be subservient.

Mona points out that treatment must be psychological and educational, by changing the way women are viewed. Women should be raised on the basis that they are human beings, just like men, and that "sometimes they may need individual treatment."

Mona rejects the notion that "this behavior is inherent in all women," asserting that it is "distorted emotions acquired through social inheritance and passed down from one generation to the next. Economic reasons are another motivation, in addition to a failed intimate marital relationship."