A child lying on the floor in a store, on the street, or at home, screaming, kicking, crying, throwing things around, and perhaps holding his breath. We see this scene a lot around us. You may have noticed it in the children around you, or you may have been one of the heroes of it as the father or mother of this child.
You may also encounter looks of surprise, distress, and disapproval from strangers who see this "inappropriate behavior" as a parental failure to raise the child. But do you know what this child is really going through? These are tantrums . Why do they occur? And how can they be controlled?
What is a tantrum?
A tantrum is defined as an emotional outburst of frustration. It is normal and common, especially among children between the ages of two and three. It typically occurs less frequently around the age of four and gradually decreases as the child develops mentally and cognitively, becoming more able to express their needs more clearly.
Why does a child have tantrums?
- Emotional triggers:
The most likely cause of tantrums is that your 2- or 3-year-old is experiencing emotions that are too big to express in words, or too big to handle on his own.
Young children are surrounded by many emotions, both good and bad, from their parents, guardians, and adults in their environment—especially during the preschool stage. They do not yet have the ability to understand and manage them because the relevant parts of the brain have not yet developed.
- Physical stimuli:
Fatigue, hunger, and discomfort are frequent triggers for anger attacks.
- Reinforced behavior:
Depending on how you respond, your child may learn that a tantrum is a way to get what he wants.
Managing children's tantrums
Over time, you can teach your child how to express feelings in appropriate ways. Try these strategies:
- Changing the child's area of interest:
If your child is in a state of complete rage, you can offer to play with his favorite toys, or take him somewhere he likes to go.
- Simplicity and tranquility:
Your tone of voice can help calm your baby. Choose simple, clear words and try to calm him down.
- Closeness to the child:
Your child's emotional rollercoaster can be frightening, and they need to know you're there for them. Don't ignore their feelings or leave them alone, as this may exacerbate their fears.
- Hug:
You can control your child's tantrums by hugging him. Don't try to force him to stop kicking or making any angry movements. Hugging will help you restrict his body movements.
Don't rush to remove your child from your lap. Let him feel safe and comfortable before trying to find out why he's angry and asking him what he wants.
- Empathy:
All your child may need is some attention or even to be sure you understand their feelings, so showing empathy is an essential step in reducing their negative feelings.
- Prioritize safety:
If your preschooler's temper escalates to the point where they hit or bite others or pets, throw things, or scream nonstop, pick them up and move them to a safe place, so they don't hurt themselves or others.
What not to do when a child has a tantrum
Don't lose your temper, no matter how provocative your child's behavior is or how embarrassed he is by the looks and comments of those around him. Don't shout at him or threaten him.
During a state of extreme anger, your child is unable to listen to you and discuss matters with you, as his mind will not be able to process matters logically.
When should you consult a doctor?
In some cases, consulting a doctor may be necessary, as tantrums are a sign of a health problem in your child, especially if they increase in severity or frequency, or occur without a clear cause.
Also pay attention if your child starts hurting himself or others, if his tantrums include extremely aggressive behavior such as throwing or breaking things, or if his tantrum lasts more than 25 minutes.
Your child's doctor can ensure that there is no physical or psychological problem contributing to his tantrums and can offer suggestions for dealing with such situations.
Read also : "My son is talking to himself." How do you distinguish between your child's unity and independence?
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