The New York Womans

It helps him to be psychologically independent. Experts: Let your child choose his clothes for himself

Amman - Children choosing their own clothes is a way to express themselves, and educational experts believe this has many benefits, including building a child's self-esteem, helping them become independent, and allowing them to develop a sense of style. Many mothers ask: At what age should a child choose their own clothes? Will they make good choices? Will their tastes align with theirs?

Educational and family consultant Dr. Amal Burshak believes that parents should first accept their child's developmental nature and encourage them to choose their own clothes and experiment with what's on their mind, starting with accompanying them to the market, comparing prices, and choosing between them.

"Many people know this, and it's an aspect that parents sometimes overlook. It's the primary means of partnership and communication between parents and children, and an opportunity to create beautiful memories that will brighten up their future lives and contribute to building a sound personality that can pave the way to initial success," she says.

"Instead of clothes being the most important thing and the fear of them getting dirty, and the child being repelled by them and not wanting to wear them, so they remain in the closet neglected, we can turn them into a positive tool for raising the child, ridding him of shyness and increasing his integration into society when he is proud of himself and his choices, and feels proud and honored," Burshak adds. She believes that there is no such thing as beautiful or ugly, "they are just feelings we carry with us."

“Remember that these are just clothes and they will soon outgrow them,” advises counselor Burshk. “Focus on developing his ability to pick them out. This may make him preserve them, wear them regularly, and express his gratitude to his parents for instilling confidence in him by preserving his independence. Avoid turning them into a tool for conflict and expressing dissatisfaction so that negative feelings between you do not surface through clothes.”

She added, "Turn this moment into a space of freedom to choose and express joy through new and appropriate clothes. Let the little bud grow up wearing clothes that make him happy, and teach him to choose what suits him and what doesn't hinder his movement, and to think about the purpose of buying them."

Developing the child's senses

Children begin choosing their own clothes at the age of three or four, as they become more aware of their preferences and have the motor skills necessary to dress themselves. By the age of 6 or 7, most children have a clear sense of their style and what they like to wear.

Psychological and educational consultant Dr. Rula Abu Bakr says, "As children grow, they begin to develop their own unique sense of style and personal preferences. Allowing children to choose their own clothes is often a good way to foster their independence, creativity, and confidence in expressing themselves. However, the age at which children are allowed to choose their own clothes can vary, depending on their level of maturity and decision-making ability."

Abu Bakr believes that this independence in choosing their clothing helps them develop a sense of identity and self-expression, which in turn can boost their self-confidence and self-esteem, and develop their decision-making skills so that they learn to evaluate their choices and make them based on their own preferences.

Child's opinions and preferences

Dr. Abu Bakr says, "It's important for parents to realize that their children's clothing choices may not always align with their tastes. Parents may override a child's decision and choose different clothes for them without any explanation. This sends a message to the child that their opinions and preferences are not valued or respected, which can damage their self-esteem and sense of independence."

Instead, parents should try to handle the situation with empathy and understanding, explaining why certain clothing choices are inappropriate for certain situations, such as school or the park. Parents should be aware of their child's developmental stage. In early childhood, stubbornness is the main reason for a child's insistence on choosing their clothes, says Rula Abu Bakr, who believes that giving a child the freedom to choose between two appropriate outfits is an easy and smart solution.

She adds, "In the middle stage of development, the child's independence and sense of personal responsibility are the basis for his choice of clothing."

She advises parents, saying, "Be prepared to listen to your children's reasoning and try to find a middle ground that allows them to express their individuality. It's important to emphasize respect for religion, customs, and social norms, and to choose clothing appropriate for their age and gender, rather than blindly imitating fashion."

She added, "In general, allowing children to choose their own clothing helps parents understand their children's interests and the extent to which they are influenced by the media and social media. It is also a valuable way to support their development and encourage them to express themselves by approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and respect."

Benefits of a child choosing his own clothes

The Family Education website published a number of benefits of allowing a child to choose his own clothes, including:

Building confidence by choosing your own clothes: When a child can master small problems and choices, he feels proud, and then he builds his self-esteem and confidence.
Learning what colors, patterns, and types of clothing look best on a child: Finding a sense of style and expressing a child's personality through "fashion" is fun for a child who is beginning to explore their identity.
Improving children's problem-solving and decision-making skills: Offering a child some small choices in their daily routine, such as which coat to wear that day, helps them develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Important tips for parents

Here, the same website advises parents to follow the following steps to maximize the benefits of their child's clothing choices:

Show your child that you respect their opinions: When one or both parents respect a child's choice, they learn the importance of respect and how to respect the choices of others, and most importantly, they learn that they deserve respect in their life.
Give young children the opportunity to feel in control: this helps them feel more comfortable and confident.
Save time getting kids ready in the morning: Giving your kids the choice to pick out their own outfits will save you time in the long run. When your child gets to choose their outfit for the day, they're more likely to get dressed and keep up with their busy morning schedule.